Why Don't People in Europe Have Fathers? (Quora)

Personally, I blame Martin Luther. As a result of The Reformation, half of Europe turned Protestant and all the R C Fathers were thrown out. Except those who concealed themselves in priest holes.

Of course, in England under the rain of Bloody Mary they were allowed out of their holes. Except that it can’t have been real Bloody Mary because the English didn’t have any vodka at the time. And they couldn’t grow tomatoes for the juice because of the climate. (They are now attempting to remedy this deficiency by pursuing climate change.)

And anyway if it had been real Bloody Mary the English would never have invented carrying an umbrella in case of rain, they’d have carried glasses instead. Or buckets. But nowadays, they can all get glasses on the NHS. Also, you never find ‘Calais’ engraved on a vodka glass, unless preceded by the words “Un souvenir de...” So that proves it.

As a result of this the English had to pass a lot of Anti-Recusant Acts, which banned anyone seen with a Father from being King. Although Father Time was allowed to play cricket at Lords. And Old Father Thames was allowed to keep rolling along. But Oliver Cromwell notoriously banned Father Christmas, which was a horrible thing to do and led to The Restoration Comedy.

But I think you may have got the wrong end of the stick from hearing certain modern English politicians referring to anyone who has ever been anywhere near Brussels as bar stewards. Or a very similar term. Now as everyone knows, in days gone by (and even before the rain of Bloody Mary) people without fathers were known as bar stewards. But they aren’t any more.

So it’s not true that people in Brussels are all bar stewards. Probably. They may however be sprouts off a similar plant.